Have you ever noticed that just when everything seems to be going well, the world throws you another curveball that leaves you struggling with something old and unwanted? In my case, the world threw me a major curveball recently when, after a routine computer update, all my files, documents, photos, and recordings disappeared.
Every last bit of my work was gone, and I was left staring at a blank screen.
Old, unwanted panic flared instantly. Adrenaline and cortisol surged through my body, and an inner voice screamed: DO SOMETHING NOW!
I tried everything I knew to do, then called in a more computer-savvy friend to help, but nothing we did could bring my work back. We spent four hours searching the computer and the backup drive for my files, to no avail. I started thinking about how I could recover from such a loss, and the screaming voice grew louder.
Our search did reveal that the computer was still under warranty, so we called Apple, which connected us with a technician. When he failed, he called in his supervisor. After an hour of looking and clicking, we discovered the problem, and all my files returned. It took four people two days to resolve the issue, but my files came back, and the unwanted panic loosened its grip around my heart.
The Insight
The moment the panic began to fade, I realized how tired I was of technology-induced panic, and that if I wanted to live a peaceful, joyful life, I would have to find a way to navigate this terrain. I was weary of my system being flooded with chemical alarms, and I was no longer willing to endure the chaos they caused.
As humans, we long ago developed that kind of panic when a predator charged toward us, and in that situation, a flood of adrenaline and cortisol is warranted and helpful. When dealing with a technology issue, those chemicals are definitely not helpful. Adrenaline and cortisol suppress your prefrontal cortex, so you can run, fight, or hide. None of those options helps with a technology problem, and with your prefrontal cortex suppressed, you can’t even think clearly.
But here’s what took me years to accept: you can’t think your way out of panic. No matter how hard you think, trying to fix a tech problem while your body believes you’re being chased by a bear doesn’t work.
The Practice
The only way through that I’ve discovered is to slow down. Really slow down. Whatever it takes.
Walk away. Do deep breathing. Listen to music. Go for a walk. Stare at the sky. Play with your dog. It doesn’t matter what you choose; what matters is that you refuse to engage with the problem until your nervous system has downshifted out of crisis mode. This flies directly in the face of the demanding internal voice screaming, “There’s no time! Fix it now!”
The voice is wrong. Taking time to let your nervous system return to equilibrium actually saves time in the long run. If I had stepped back earlier and let myself calm down, I might have realized sooner that the computer was still under warranty. Instead, I spent four hours frantically searching while my prefrontal cortex was offline.
Being caught in unnecessary panic is like being caught in a spell of our own making. We believe the fearful thoughts. We believe the urgency. We believe something terrible will happen if we don’t act right now!
The only way to break that spell is to recognize it as a false emergency and detach from the fearful thoughts driving the panic.
From now on, I will treat panic as a signal. The second I feel it rising, I will stop. Recognize what’s happening. Step back immediately. Nip panic in the bud.
Because the longer the panic continues, the harder it is to derail. It is so much easier to catch it early, recognize it for what it is, and refuse to let it run the show. This is self-kindness and sovereignty in action. It is not the same as ignoring real problems. My files really were missing. The problem really needed solving. But I couldn’t solve it from a state of terror. None of us can.
The Freedom
Now I know that by stepping back, slowing down, and soothing my nervous system, I am free to choose how I want to respond, and in that freedom, I regain control.
When I’m not in panic mode, I can think clearly. I can ask for help. I can remember that I have resources. I can solve the real problem in front of me instead of fighting imaginary bears. But more than that, I can choose what kind of life I’m cultivating. Among many other things, I want a life free of false emergencies.
The world will keep throwing curveballs. Technology will keep malfunctioning. Life will keep presenting challenges. That’s not going to change. What I can change is how I meet those moments. By treating panic as a signal and immediately taking steps to soothe my nervous system, I give myself the power to choose peace over panic and freedom over chaos.
The Invitation
Perhaps you, too, fall victim to unnecessary panic or some other unwanted emotional tidal wave. If it starts to take over, I invite you to recognize that you have a choice. You can reestablish control by first slowing down and soothing your nervous system, so you are free to choose how to solve your problem calmly, without the inner screaming voice.
We, humans, are complex creatures with many moving parts. We can thank our nervous system for warning us of danger, and we can also let it know when it’s a false alarm. Our bodies, minds, and spirits interact fluidly, and when one system takes over at the expense of the other two, stepping in to restore balance and harmony is our most empowering choice.
This is a skill that requires continual practice until it feels so natural that we do it automatically. I am closer to that now than I was during the computer meltdown, and I intend to practice this skill until it’s second nature.
Perhaps this will work for you, too. It’s not always easy. But it is always possible. And it is always worth it.
We will all feel a lot better.
If you recognize yourself in this essay and would like a guide to help you along your journey to reclaiming your joy and freedom, I invite you to fill out my intake form.