During the pandemic, I gained 20 pounds.
Like so many, I was frightened. We all were. The threat of COVID was real and relentless, and our bodies responded the way bodies are designed to respond to danger; they went into protection mode. Cortisol surged. The nervous system braced. And my body, in its extraordinary wisdom, held on.
But then the pandemic receded. And those 20 pounds didn’t. I did what most of us do. I got frustrated. I looked in the mirror and criticized what I saw. I thought, “Why won’t this weight come off? I hate how I look. I hate how this feels.”
And every one of those thoughts was keeping me stuck.
Your Body Is Listening
Your body hears everything you say about it. Not metaphorically. Literally. Your thoughts are biochemical events. And when you think, “I hate my stomach,” or “I hate my thighs,” or “I hate this body,” your body receives that message the same way it receives a threat from the outside world.
The brain does not distinguish between external and internal attacks. An attack is an attack, and self-criticism activates the amygdala, your brain’s alarm system, which floods the body with cortisol and adrenaline, the same stress hormones that surged during COVID. Your nervous system doesn’t know you’re just standing in front of a mirror. It perceives danger and responds accordingly.
Body hatred doesn’t just hurt your spirit. It signals your body to hold on tighter.
This is not a failure of willpower. It is not a character flaw. It is biology. Chronic stress and elevated cortisol are directly linked to weight gain — particularly abdominal fat, and metabolic disruption. When your body perceives a threat, it does what it is built to do: it stores energy to protect you.
And that stored energy is fat.
Those stubborn pounds are your body being loyal to your survival.
The Body as Sacred Intelligence
I invite you to consider this thought:
Your body is not a problem to be solved. It is an intelligence to be communed with.
Every cell in your body is responsive. Every heartbeat, every breath, every act of healing happening right now without your conscious direction, is an act of devotion. Your body is doing its best to carry you, protect you, and keep you alive through every hard season of your life.
It deserves a different conversation.
When you shift from self-criticism to self-appreciation, something measurable happens. The parasympathetic nervous system, your rest-and-digest mode, activates. Oxytocin, the safety hormone, begins to flow. Dopamine and serotonin rise. And your body receives the signal it has been waiting for:
You are safe now. You can let go.
That is not a spiritual metaphor. That is your biochemistry responding to love.
Gratitude as a Fat-Burning Trigger
To create a different conversation with your body, the best place to start is with gratitude. Because genuine, felt gratitude for your body is metabolically active. When you move from war with your body to wonder at it, you lower cortisol, you signal safety, and you create the internal environment where natural weight release becomes possible.
Not because you forced it. Because you stopped fighting.
Think about what your body does every single day without being asked: it beats your heart over 100,000 times. It breathes for you while you sleep. It fights infection, repairs tissue, and processes the world through your senses. It has carried you through grief, fear, and every hard morning you thought you couldn’t face.
What if, instead of hating it, you thanked it?
Begin there with just one small act of acknowledgment. Thank you, body, for carrying me today. Thank you, body, for my breath. I am learning to love you.
A great way to get started is to listen to my Self-Compassion Process.
This 10-minute practice helps you cultivate the most important relationship in your life, the one with yourself. Self-compassion boosts your ability to change, so activating it frequently is good self-care. And you’ll feel better!
Your body has been waiting for you to love it.
I also recommend Jon Gabriel’s five-minute meditation. Jon’s work beautifully bridges science and the soul. And this meditation sends powerful safety signals to every cell in your body.
Step 1: Sit comfortably and place both hands on your heart. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.
Step 2: Think of someone or something you love unconditionally — a pet, a child, a beautiful sunset. Feel that warm sensation in your chest.
Step 3: Now imagine that same warm love radiating from your heart throughout your entire body. Picture it as golden light flowing to every cell.
Step 4: Mentally say to your body: “I love you. You are safe. You are appreciated.” Repeat this as the warmth spreads.
Step 5: End by thanking your body for everything it does for you — your heartbeat, your breathing, your healing.
If your body doesn’t feel safe, it will keep trying to protect you by storing energy as fat. Both the Self-Compassion recording and this short meditation shift the signal from danger to safety.
I am still on this journey with you. Those 20 pandemic pounds are still here, but my relationship with them has changed completely. I am no longer at war with my body. I am in conversation with it, and I’m actively appreciating it. And slowly, gently, something is shifting.
If you recognize yourself in this essay and would like a guide to help you along your journey to reclaiming your joy and freedom, I invite you to fill out my intake form.