Do you blow by the little victories?
Do you allow moments of luck or good feeling to slip away unnoticed, not really landing before the next thing pulls your attention away?
I think we’re all guilty of that from time to time. But lately I’ve realized that those moments are golden opportunities for celebration, and every one we neglect is a small loss. Not just emotionally, but neurologically. Every uncelebrated moment robs our brain of a dopamine hit that could have lifted our mood and misses a chance to tell our brain what to look for next.
I first discovered this during the process of creating a short video, back when I was rebranding my website.
The Formula Is Simpler Than You Think
I spent days making it.
Not days of smooth, confident creation. Days of learning curves so steep I wondered more than once if I was actually capable of finishing. I wrote and rewrote the script. I learned how to edit the recording. I did take after take. And when I finally had something I could call done, I was so deep inside the process that all I could see were the thousand things I’d fix if I had the energy.
I did not have the energy. So I sent it to a trusted friend for her reaction and waited.
Her response was one word.
BEAUTIFUL.
All caps.
I stared at that email for a long moment. I had been so consumed by the making of the video that I had completely lost the ability to see it. I felt a wave of relief from her reaction and decided to celebrate. Not in a champagne-and-confetti way. Just me, walking around my house, saying out loud: Wow. That video is great. I did it. I’m so happy. It’s a great video. Over and over, for two or three minutes.
And I felt so much better that I decided to consciously look for other things to celebrate, small things, ordinary things, things I might have scrolled right past before. And to my amazement, I discovered lots of things worth celebrating.
Light traffic on the way to an appointment. (Wow, look how easy this is. I love this.) A clean kitchen after ignoring it for days. (Look at those clean counters. Everything is put away. This is so good.) My dog Java, walking beautifully on her leash after months of patient training, I had never once stopped to appreciate. (Look at her. She’s doing so well. We did it!)
The formula for celebration turns out to be simple: notice, acknowledge, and say out loud everything you love about it.
This Is Your Brain on Celebration
And here’s what I’ve discovered: the more I do this, the better I feel, and the more my brain looks for things to celebrate. That’s not a coincidence. That’s neuroscience. Your brain runs on an algorithm. Whatever you give your attention to, you get more of. When you rehearse worry, your brain marks it as important and keeps bringing it up. But when you pause, even for thirty seconds, and genuinely appreciate something, you’re sending your nervous system a different signal. This matters. Find me more of this. Tiny flickers of appreciation are hits of dopamine. And dopamine teaches your brain what’s worth paying attention to.
Think of it like a bank account. Every time you celebrate something, no matter how small, you’re making a deposit in your brain’s good feelings account. Skip the deposit, and the account stays empty. But make enough small deposits consistently, and pretty soon you have something substantial. A brain that leans toward the good. A nervous system that knows joy is real and worth finding.
Because here’s the truth: we get what we practice most. Practice worry, fear, and anxiety, and that’s the lens your brain hands you every morning. Practice joy, celebration, and gratitude, and your brain starts to scan for them instead. All it takes is thirty seconds and something real to appreciate.
Why Empaths Struggle to Celebrate
We are exquisitely tuned to what’s wrong, because we feel the undercurrents, the tensions, the unspoken pain in every room we walk into. Our sensitivity is a gift, but it also means our salience network, the part of the brain that decides what matters, has been trained by a lifetime of scanning for danger, for hurt, for what needs to be fixed, felt, or held.
Celebration feels almost counterintuitive. Even unsafe. If I relax into this, something bad will happen. If I celebrate, I’ll jinx it.
But practicing celebration isn’t about pretending the hard things aren’t there. It’s about teaching your brain that good things are also real, also worth registering, also worth feeling in your body.
That’s the practice. Not a mindset shift. Not toxic positivity. Just noticing, acknowledging, and saying out loud, “This is great! I love this. More of this, please!”
How To Start Practicing Celebration
Find one thing you did this week that deserves a “Wow.” Maybe it’s something big and hard-won, like finishing a project that took everything you had. Maybe it’s something small, a meal you made, a call you returned, a moment of patience you didn’t know you had. The more moments you celebrate, the more your brain tilts to the positive and the better you feel.
Say it out loud. Mean it. Let it land.
That’s practicing celebration.
If you recognize yourself in this essay and would like a guide to help you along your journey to reclaiming your joy and freedom, I invite you to fill out my intake form.