Recently, I discovered something life-changing that now helps me navigate my world with much greater ease. It is so simple, yet I missed it all these years. 

Here’s the key: when I feel empty, I’m really experiencing disconnection.

It’s not sadness. Not depression. Not even exhaustion, although it can feel like that. I’ve become disconnected from the things that bring me joy, passion, vitality, and enthusiasm. And the best part is that once I understood this, I knew what to do about it.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that feeling like I’m running on empty is a risky emotional state for me, as it can quickly lead to a darker mood. So if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I want to share how I’ve learned to lift myself out of this stifling state of mind.

How to Shift Out of Feeling Disconnected

Step One: Notice What You’re Actually Feeling

Let’s use this morning as an example. I woke up feeling terrible. Not useful, I know. So I had to look deeper until I heard myself thinking, “I have no energy. I just don’t want to do anything!” At that point, it became clear to me that I had indeed fallen into the dreaded state of running on empty.

This is important because we often mislabel our emotions. We say we’re tired when we’re actually depleted. We say we’re sad when we’re really disconnected. The solution for each issue is different, so recognizing what you’re truly feeling is crucial.

Step Two: Mute the Self-Critic

Personally, my self-critic kicks into overdrive when I’m running on empty. It screams at me that I’m lazy and disgusting, and I should get up right now and get moving. This, of course, only makes me feel worse.

So after many battles, I’ve learned to talk to my self-critic directly. With gentle authority, I say, “I’m sorry, self-critic, but this is not the place for you. I know you’re trying to help, but you’re only making things worse. Be silent now.”

This is startlingly effective.

All your “shoulds” need to be put aside now. They can’t help you here. The answer is reconnecting to your essential self, and that requires something completely different.

Step Three: Embrace Self-Compassion and Patience

Here, I make a direct plea to my compassionate and patient selves: “Please help me nourish myself so I can feel better again.”

Because the truth is that the only way to heal emptiness is to nourish yourself with the things you love. Kindly. Gently. You are empty. You need to fill your life with all the things that bring you joy and vitality, restoring energy to your being.

What I need to do, and probably what you need to do too, is reconnect with yourself. This takes time and effort, but the rewards are plentiful.

Practical Ways to Reconnect

These are the steps that work for me. Hopefully, they’ll help you too.

Give yourself something to respond to. Music, a podcast, Netflix, whatever sparks real energy in you. For me, it’s music, and this is one of the few times I allow myself to turn it up loud. I need something that reaches into the emptiness and reminds me that I can still feel something!

Move your body gently. Nothing extreme, just opening your senses so you can enjoy moving, stretching, and bending, slowly with intent. Allow yourself to drift into the movement with ease. Wave your arms, move your torso around, and take a few intuitive steps. We’re not trying to win a race or lose weight here. We’re trying to regain the joy of being alive in a body that moves with grace. And if you love it, you can dance! This pairs beautifully with your favorite music.

Let your ideas emerge naturally. As you move and flow through your body, allow your thoughts and feelings to surface effortlessly. Understand that there’s nothing wrong with you. You just got out of sync with yourself, and now it’s time to enjoy being you again. Patience and compassion will guide you toward greater clarity and inspiration. 

Go outside. Do what makes you happy. I love walking my dog in the woods and feeling nature all around, but you might prefer riding a bike, visiting with a horse, or strolling through the city. The best activity is the one you love, the one that reminds you why you’re glad to be alive.

Do something kind for someone else. Brighten someone else’s day, and you’ll feel better too. Your energy will be fully engaged, helping you return to your life with a smile on your face.

An Invitation

The next time you wake up feeling empty, I invite you to pause before you label it as something else. Ask yourself: have I disconnected from the things I love? From myself?

If the answer is yes, then you know what to do. Stop pushing so hard. Stop trying to nag yourself into action. Instead, embrace yourself gently, patiently, compassionately, and reconnect.

Feed yourself with what makes you feel alive. Move in ways that bring you joy. Step outside. Reach out. Allow yourself to remember what it feels like to be filled with the simple pleasure of being you.

You’re not broken. You’re just disconnected. Reconnection is only a few steps away. 

If you’d like some support in this journey, I welcome you to fill out my intake form and see whether we are a good fit to work together.