Do you ever feel stuck in procrastination? I know I do.
A couple of months ago, I had a simple, joyful idea: start a coloring group. I love to color – it’s a bit of a guilty pleasure because my inner critic thinks I should be doing something “productive.” But I wanted to gather a few friends at my house for an evening of coloring and chatting. Low key, friendly, fun. Three friends immediately said yes. Perfect! All I needed to do was send a group text to set up the first date.
I kept meaning to do it. I even made a trip to the art supply store and bought three new boxes of colored pencils that can do amazing things. But I couldn’t quite pull the trigger on sending that text. After sitting with this for a while, I realized that my subconscious mind was trying to protect me from rejection.
Now, on the surface, that sounds ridiculous. Everyone had already agreed! But my subconscious mind remembers every time I’ve felt rejected, disappointed, or unwanted. And it was flagging this situation as dangerous.
The result? Procrastination.
But recognizing what was happening freed me. Once I saw the pattern, I could speak directly to my subconscious mind: “Thank you for trying to protect me. I hear you. But this isn’t as scary as you think it is.”
The Two Types of Procrastination
Procrastination comes in two distinct flavors, and recognizing which one you’re dealing with gives you the tools to change it.
One: Subconscious Protection
This is what I was experiencing with the coloring group. Your subconscious mind believes that moving forward might harm you in some way – rejection, failure, disappointment, embarrassment. So it keeps you stuck as a form of protection.
The clue? You actually WANT to do the thing. You think about it. You prepare for it (hello, three boxes of colored pencils). But you can’t quite take the final step.
How to navigate it:
- Notice what’s happening: “I’m procrastinating. What might my subconscious mind be protecting me from?”
- Thank your subconscious mind for trying to keep you safe
- Reassure it: “This isn’t as dangerous as you think. I can handle this.”
- Take the action anyway – gently, but decisively
Two: Values Conflict
This is when you’re procrastinating on something that genuinely doesn’t align with what you care about. Let’s say I were passionate about keeping the kitchen spotless and everything put away. If that were true, I would simply do it. But I’m not. I find doing the dishes annoying because they interrupt the work I really want to do. So I procrastinate.
This is a straight-up values conflict. My subconscious mind isn’t protecting me from anything – it’s just honestly communicating: “This isn’t a priority for you.”
How to navigate it:
- Be honest about the conflict: “I don’t actually care that much about this right now.”
- Resist criticizing yourself for procrastinating
- Make it a conscious decision: “When I’m ready, I’ll get to the dishes. Until then, they can wait.”
This transforms procrastination from a character flaw into a simple statement of fact. And the self-criticism can finally stop.
The key: know which one you’re dealing with.
The magic is in the discernment. When you can tell the difference between fear-based protection and a conflict of honest values, you can respond appropriately.
With fear-based procrastination, you move through it gently yet firmly, thanking your subconscious mind as you take the action anyway.
With values-based procrastination, you get honest with yourself, own your choice, and stop beating yourself up about it.
Either way, you’re no longer stuck in the exhausting loop of wanting to do something and not doing it or not wanting to do something and criticizing yourself for not wanting it. You’re just being honest. And honesty creates space for everything else.
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